Exercise · ACT

Choice Point

Work through a difficult situation using the choice point map: what hooks you, what helps you, and which small step would move you toward the life you want to live.

What is the choice point

In any difficult situation there comes a moment when you have a choice: to act the way your “hooks” — difficult thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories — suggest, or the way the person you want to be would act.

Away means moving away from the life you want to live: ineffective actions and behavior that make you someone you do not want to be. Toward means moving toward the life you want: actions in line with who you want to be.

The same action can be either one in different situations — it is always your choice. Even if you have been moving away for a long time, you can start moving toward again at any moment.

AWAY TOWARD Choice point Hooks Helpers
The exercise goes step by step: situation, hooks, helpers, a STOP pause, two kinds of action. At the end you get a map you can download or print.
See an example
  • Situation: being around people, social situations, invitations.
  • Hooks: thoughts like “I’m boring” and “I’ll feel bad around people”; feelings of anxiety, fear of rejection, a racing heart.
  • Helpers: wanting to be closer to friends and family, openness to new situations, the ability to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings.
  • Moving away: turning down invitations, canceling plans at the last minute, leaving events early, ignoring calls and messages, staying in my room.
  • Moving toward: agreeing to go to a party, replying to a message.

Step 1

A difficult situation

Choose a situation that is hard for you — one where you notice you might act differently from how you would like. Describe what happens.

Situation

Step 2

Hooks

“Hooks” are the difficult, unhelpful thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories that hook you in this situation. Write down what you notice.

Thoughts

Feelings

Body sensations

Memories

Step 3

Helpers

“Helpers” are your values, strengths, and skills that help you act and be the person you want to be.

Values

What truly matters to you in this situation?

Strengths

Which of your qualities can help?

Skills

What can you do that will come in handy?

Step 4

At the choice point — STOP

When you find yourself at the choice point, pause and go through four steps.

SSlow downBreathing, body-based relaxation techniques.
TTake noteWhat you feel and think, what is going on around you, and what you are doing.
OOpen upAllow your feelings and thoughts to come and go freely.
PPursue valuesRemember your values and find a way to act on them, even in the smallest way.

What I notice right now

Step T: feelings, thoughts, the world around you, what you are doing.

Step 5

Moving away

What do you do (or have you done) when the hooks take over? Write down the actions and behavior that take you away from the life you want to live and make you someone you do not want to be.

What I do when I get hooked

Be specific: what exactly do you do or not do.

Step 6

Moving toward

Which actions would move you closer to the life you want to live — in line with who you want to be? Start small.

What I could do

Actions that move you toward what matters to you.

My one small step

One step — one small action you are willing to take.

My choice point

Here is your map. You can download or print it, and talk it through in a session.

Difficult situation
Hooks
Helpers
Choice point
Moving away
Moving toward
STOP: what I notice
My one small step

Your answers stay on this page in your browser and are not sent anywhere. The file is saved as .txt.