Exercise · Values and pain

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Everything that matters to us has a flip side: pain. We hurt exactly where we care. This exercise helps you see that what is valuable and what is painful in the same area of life are connected — they are two sides of one coin.

“You hurt where you care, and you care where you hurt.”

Steven C. Hayes, A Liberated Mind

Which area of life does this coin belong to?

Pick one area — it is easier to focus on a specific experience than on life as a whole.

The coin

Tap the coin to flip it.

★
Heads
What I hold dear
◆
Tails
What causes me pain

We can only hurt where we care. You cannot remove the pain without touching what matters — it is the same coin.

Describe both sides

Five items on each side — keep it short, a few words each.

★ Heads — what matters to me

What you are willing to carry this pain for.

◆ Tails — what causes me pain

What shows up precisely because you care.

Your answers stay on this page in your browser and are never sent anywhere. The file downloads as .txt: the chosen area of life and both sides of the coin.